I posted a version of this ages ago, but took it down because it seemed unfinished. This is the final (I hope) version.
Instructions for the Locating of a (Charming) Prince
Did no one tell you,
dear, about the prince?
It is a well-kept secret
I will share with you:
squander your fortune,
set out alone,
turn left at the swamp,
and faint.
He will turn up
like clockwork or the turning
of the sun -
predictable
as ants
at a picnic.
There are other ways:
prick your finger and waste
your life in waiting.
Sell your voice for the chance
to hear him speak.
Suck in your stomach
thrust out that chest
and smile.
Suffer for love
my dear, because
even if he's green
or seems
a beast,
there's nothing that
some kissing cannot cure.
Have faith
be true,
pay heed and you
are guaranteed
your very own
home-grown
organic
trademarked, sealed
stamped with an expiry date,
(pre-nuptual agreement
signed in advance)
fat-free
(for a limited time only)
happy
ever
after.
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